Mar 24, 2022Member-onlyWhat Weed Means to MeNear the end of 2014, I presided over a small kitchen island filled with an array of marijuana-laced products trying to decide which to give my son, Sam, who recently celebrated his 4th birthday. My options included a homemade jar of peanut butter that filled the room with a skunky…Marijuana11 min readMarijuana11 min read
Aug 24, 2021Member-onlyThe Space Created By SilenceHow a therapy session with very little talking helped me heal — I kick off my shoes, tuck my legs up next to me, and sink into the soft folds of the overworn sofa, settling into the cozy room across from my therapist, Helen, as she putters around the office, finishing up paperwork from her previous client. Helen is not the first…Mcw Space8 min readMcw Space8 min read
Aug 19, 2021Member-onlyEchoes of LoveReentering a world without my son — I stand on a road called Middle Street that bisects a park called Alhambra. To my left are a series of playgrounds shaded by a towering live oak tree dripping with Spanish moss. Delighted squeals puncture my brain as toddlers fly through muggy air on swings. I listen with envy…Mwc Reentry10 min readMwc Reentry10 min read
Jun 4, 2021Member-onlyFinding My FaithHow caring for my dying child carved a path to wonder, God, and the afterlife — When I was eight years old, I kicked a nun. To be fair, she was chasing my best friend, Mike, around a classroom trying to whack him with her cane. To be fair to the nun, Mike and I were doing our damnedest to make the first communion classes she…Spirituality22 min readSpirituality22 min read
May 19, 2021Member-onlyIf you have an IUD, you should read thisHormonal birth control, autoimmune disease, and the dismissal of women’s pain — “You’ve been getting sick a lot!” my sister texted. I shrugged it off. We’re close. We worry about each other. I wasn’t worried though. My mind landed on the obvious reason for my consistent illnesses. I have two young daughters in elementary school; they’re germ factories, I rationalized. Plus, my…Women6 min readWomen6 min read
Published inHuman Parts·Apr 15, 2021Member-onlyLosing My Son Helped Me Learn to SurrenderMoments when ‘everything’s going to be ok’ isn’t true — Everything is going to be okay. We whisper it to our children when they skin their knees or have a fight with a friend. We proclaim it to those who have lost their job, their partner, their health. We post it on Instagram, showcasing our optimism. …Psychology10 min readPsychology10 min read
Mar 14, 2021Member-onlySeeing, Not Seeking, is the Key to HappinessIn July of 2013, my two-year-old son was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. Ten days later, I delivered twin daughters. Outside Sam’s hospital room, just moments after receiving his fatal diagnosis, my husband, Mike, and I vowed to do everything in our power to make Sam happy. At first…Happiness9 min readHappiness9 min read
Published inHuman Parts·Dec 9, 2020Member-onlyWhat My Son’s Final Words Taught Me About HappinessJoy comes when we let go of the idea that we deserve it — Nearly five years ago, I knelt before my five-year-old son Sam in the basement of our friend’s home. The room was filled with a mishmash of furniture from upstairs and outside to accommodate all the people who had come to say goodbye. Sarah, Sam’s hospice nurse, was giving us directions…Happiness9 min readHappiness9 min read
Published inAn Injustice!·Apr 13, 2020Member-onlyConfessions of a Feminist Hooters WaitressI recognized the injustice of Hooters, but I filled out the application, put on the uniform and worked hard to become a good Hooters Girl — I’ve always had an acute awareness of justice, a hypersensitive internal fairness meter. When things are out of balance, it leaves me with an irritating sense of discomfort, kinetic energy that burns until I attempt to right the wrongs I encounter. Often those wrongs…Patriarchy21 min readPatriarchy21 min read
Aug 24, 2018Member-onlyA different kind of hopeI am sitting in a brightly lit, modern conference room on the 11th floor of the Seattle Children’s Research Institute, surrounded by strangers, desperately wiping the tears streaming down my cheeks and choking back the sobs threatening to accompany them. …Cancer9 min readCancer9 min read